All Is Possible With Love

We read this today on our church bulletin and we want our children to read it, often!

All Is Possible With Love
Intelligence without love is malevolent.
Justice without love makes you relentless.
Diplomacy without love makes you a hypocrite.
Success without love makes you arrogant.
Wealth without love makes you greedy.
Docility without love makes you servile.
Poverty without love makes you self-righteous.
Beauty without love makes you superficial.
Truth without love makes you offensive.
Work without love makes you a slave.
Simplicity without love makes you vain.
Law without love makes you inflexible.
Faith without love makes you a fanatic.
The cross without love becomes torture. 
Life without love makes no sense.
May we comprehend all this with Love.

Children See, Children Do

We don't realize the powerful influence we have over our children. They are excellent imitators of everything they see us do; the good and the bad.  This amazing Australian made video says it all - without saying a word.

Share this post with your friends and make your influence positive!

Summer Plans - Again (and Again!)

The official start of summer is tomorrow, so I was writing a "Summer Plans" related article for our blog, but halfway through it, I remembered we posted on the subject last year!

Reading it again, the most important paragraph for me is still the last one in the post: "There is no particular science to this. Overall, try not to micro-manage every waking moment and give them free time to play on their own and be creative!"

You can read the article by clicking here.

Have a great summer!

What Teenagers Really Need

We see our teenagers taller, stronger, more independent, forming their own point of view about things. They are helping around more, learning how to drive - they still have a long way to go...

• They still need limits, supervision, they still need to obey us, they need our advise and our approval, they need to see that we respect their ideas and their well being.
• They require our example, to see that we use good manners  and are fair when we enter into a discussion with them or when we are reprimanding them. 
• They need to know that we love them no matter what their grades are, if they get a place in the team or not, or if they get accepted into an Ivy League school or not.  
• They need to hear and get the same message from mom and from dad.

Teenagers - Binge Drinking - Spring Break

Spring break is one of those holidays in which - "traditionally" - teenagers engage in binge drinking, drug abuse and more. Imagine the freedom they feel: turning 16 with no "responsibilities", having everything: cell phones, enough money, even a car. They can "do whatever they want".  They go on group trips and parties.  The first drinks generally break the ice and, since they are very well aware that their behavior is illegal, it gives them an additional adrenaline rush and makes them think they are in control, "like grown-ups";  it's "fun".  But they are not and it isn't.


In their excitement  and ignorance about the consequences of their actions, they do vodka and tequila shots on empty stomachs, they mix different kinds of drinks and when they try to stand-up,  they pass out; it's too late. Consequences of this behavior can be dangerous and serious, they can include life or death situations, because rarely do their drinking buddies call 911 in case of an emergency occurs, because either they are too intoxicated and cannot identify the situation as an emergency, or they fear getting caught doing something they know to be illegal.


When our teenagers have to face all of this, the question is: can they make the right decisions and avoid these behaviors? Every parenting act (or omission) comes to bear now. It is now when our children look back at what we told them (or didn't)  for a reason to avoid this harmful behavior or just "go for it!"; we can only hope that whatever we told them as parents will help them do the right thing when they encounter these situations.

Selling Ideas at Home - Happiness!

I recently read the article "The Business of Happiness" by Nancy Cook in the excellent Fast Company magazine.

The article explains how the anticipation of a pleasurable experience feels as good as finishing an onerous task (like a marathon or an exam). They discovered that a meaningful experience such as volunteering often makes people happier than moments of pure pleasure.

Unknowingly, it seems that we have being trying to apply these concepts while raising our children. Kids like to feel happiness through meaningful experience - helping Dad finish an almost impossible job, for example, organizing the garage, or mowing the lawn. Helping mom fix a closet. These are volunteering kind of experiences that will make them feel happy and proud about "helping mom and dad", rather than just a moment of pleasure, like giving them money to buy some candy or an iTunes app.

The article goes on to mention that studies have found that happiness for young people is about excitement and that happiness for adults is about peacefulness. When "selling" an idea, a house rule, it is much better done through this kind of process - believe me, we've tried them all. Playing with a young child in order to get him to fix the bed together before leaving to school is better than yelling at him "go do your bed or else you will be late for school!!!!". It is also generally faster and you make sure it's done.

Playing some music, singing and dancing silly old songs while fixing the dishes is a more playful, joyful and fun way of making them do the dishes, rather than fighting over who did the dishes yesterday and whose turn it is today. All of them will rather have fun at the kitchen with whoever is making this playful time, than go somewhere else.

Happiness is in our hearts; make somebody else happy and you will be happy too!

The Best Christmas Gift

Thinking about Christmas gifts, we ran out of ideas for one of our children.  They have what they need, but they deserve a lot more; they are great, hard working, fun, normal children. Then I started wondering what was my best Christmas gift when I was a child and I remembered my wonderful snow cone machine. I know my mom and dad worked hard to buy the best possible toys, or watches, the best gift they could imagine for us, but the truth is that for me, the best gifts have been my brother and sisters, the friends I have made, my family, the knowledge I received from my good and bad teachers, all those experiences. 

The best gifts are definitely moments, not things:  time together, experiences together. This Christmas try talking to your children while cooking rather that yelling at them to go play outside. Make plans to watch a movie together at home and listen and enjoy their comments, even when you have seen this movie over and over. Cuddle together inside the bed sheets while the snow storm passes by. Wrap the presents together, even when they might not look as neat as you would like. Shop online as much as you can and spend that extra time with your husband or wife. 

Enjoy the season and be thankful for all your gifts.

Merry Christmas!