Part I – Understanding the Remixed Generation

It has been a while since our last entry. Life has moved quickly—our children have grown, four have graduated from college one is still in college, one is married, another is engaged, and AI is suddenly everywhere. This year also marks the beginning of the new Beta Generation. In my book clubs with my daughters and my sisters, we’ve read authors like Dr. Edith Siro, Dr. Lisa Miller, and Tara Isabella Burton, Brené Brown, all in an effort to understand the world our children are navigating—a world of “remixed spirituality,” where many young people search for meaning outside traditional faith.

In Strange Rites, Burton explains how Silicon Valley transformed spirituality around 2006, when smartphones and social platforms became central to daily life. Technology began acting like a “new priest,” shaping beliefs, behaviors, and communities through algorithms. Instead of receiving tradition, many young people were encouraged to design their own spirituality—personal, customizable, and detached from any religious authority. This is the world in which our children grew up at the same time raised in great catholic traditional schools.

The Silicon Valley mindset also fueled radical individualism: create your own truth, optimize your life, curate your rituals. Practices like mindfulness, yoga, wellness apps, or biohacking often replaced deeper spiritual needs—peace, belonging, and purpose—but without God. Spirituality became something to consume and improve, rather than a relationship with a Father who calls us to holiness in everyday life.

This shift gave rise to the “Nones”—spiritual but not religious, searching but often alone. Burton argues that this tech-shaped culture left many young adults spiritually hungry yet institutionally disconnected. For us as parents, this is both a challenge and a mission: to form our children in faith and virtue leading though our own example of a life lived with faith, hope and joy so they can recognize true meaning. Not a meaning they curate, but a Person they encounter. And to live our vocation with such joy and coherence that a cheerful Catholic family life becomes its own quiet, luminous guide. Talk to Him about your children and He will make His way to their heart. Good luck. 

Find Parents That Come From The Future - No time travel required

Today I was thinking of preventive parenting; how we can be more proactive about raising great, strong men and women that will be ready to face adversity in the world.

One of our strategies as parents, has always been to make friends with other parents that "come from the future." It is a very simple form of time travel: befriend parents that have children of an older age range than our children. When our children were 1 to 10 years old, for example, we looked for friends that had children between 10 to 18 years old; parents with more kids typically would provide bigger age ranges. 

The benefit? You will start seeing what comes next, what are the challenges their older children are overcoming, what is working for these parents and what is not working. Also, you will learn what tools are available out there now, like books, clases, clubs, etc., so you can educate yourselves and make sure that your children have the right tools in their life backpacks to overcome adversity, struggle, being neglected, bullied... and prevent or avoid these situations when possible, and deal with them when they are inevitable. 

Being better prepared as parents is important, always leaving our worries in the hands of GOD, knowing that we are not alone; He has our backs. 

No Participation Trophies

When our kids were growing up in the early 2000s and 2010s, every player in every team, in every league, in every sport, received a medal and even a trophy, just for participating. There was barely a recognition of the team or player who performed the best, who won the gold medal through skill and effort; "everybody was a winner".

Fast forward to this worldwide-once-every-hundred-years pandemic, with hundreds of thousands of businesses destroyed by shutdowns, millions of quality employees without work, and you notice that the kids that were raised with a sense of entitlement, those who always "won", even if they never won a game,  have come face to face with the real world, where there are a few winners and many losers, where life is hard and “making it” requires effort, lots of it.  

In these very challenging and rapid-changing times, we are seeing many examples of kids that were raised to value hard work, persevere in the face of adversity and adapt to change without crumbling, succeeding and standing out. 

If you want to give your young kids a competitive advantage in the real world, do not give them participation trophies.

How to Be at Peace

Why is it that sometimes I am at peace, working with serenity, and sometimes my anxiety takes control over me, and my body reacts with skin rashes, hair loss, lack of sleep, overeating, overdrinking, you name it?

Today I was doing my morning meditation listening to the priest talk about having peace and bringing peace to others around you. He mentioned that peace is not a state in which nobody bothers you, or in which you have no problems, or where you have no enemies, he was talking about serenity in your heart while working on solving your problems.

Peace is the result of prayer, reconciliation with God and with others, is about having good work ethic, doing good, being charitable, it comes from God's mercy and love.

Try to overcome evil with an overwhelming abundance of good, and think that every challenge that comes to your way, comes with the grace from God to overcome it. Live and work in the present, because today you have the grace for today’s challenges, tomorrow is not here yet and yesterday is already gone.

Many people worry about things that will never occur; control overthinking your problems, and go one step at the time. Don’t let anyone take away your smile and joy, that smile that is the strength for the ones around you. 

Life is good, enjoy!

Divorce Rates Will Go Down After This Pandemic 📉

We just read a great article in the Wall Street Journal by W. Bradford Wilcox, that focuses on how married couples tend to modify and enhance their true roles in times of global crises like the one we are all going through.

"...in times of trial and tribulation, most people—and most spouses—don’t become more self-centered, they become more other-centered, more cognizant of how much they need their family members to navigate difficult and dark times. In post-Covid-19 America, I’m confident that the family-first model of marriage will gain ground against the soul mate model."

You can read it here.

Coronavirus Quarantine

Today my head is overflowing with ideas on how to make the best of this voluntary quarantine.

We are living a Pandemic.

How can we make the best of it while following the recommended self quarantine? Five children, ages 13 thru 25, three active on online classes, four of us on remote work.

So how can we organize everything? Don’t go crazy and focus on personal growth for you and for your children. Looking to grow in generosity, self-discipline, patriotism, citizenship, charity, responsibility, fortitude, decision making, leadership, prudence, temperance. 

Take care of three main things:

First, your spiritual life: grow in inner peace and be able to protect that inner peace. Also, this pandemic coincides with lent, so we can start by offering all this to God as a prayer, leave all your worries in His hands and accept His will. Make sure to include your children and spouse. Offer to God the little things, like the inconveniences and set-backs of cancelled trips, cancelled meetings, cancelled concerts, cancelled tournaments and also, offer to God the big things that can go from getting sick yourself all the way to the death of a loved one.

Second, take care of your body/health, this includes having a healthy meal plan, preparing your body and your family to be in the best possible shape to be ready if the virus visits your home. Green juices, salads, broths, lots of water. Expose yourself to some sun for a little while. Download an exercise app, for running if you can run outside, for legs, abs, yoga, etc. Do a 30 day, 100 abs repetition challenge with the whole family, make it fun.  Keep social distance with your friends at all times.

Finally, take care of your brain study/work and prepare clean working stations with different purposes, some quiet spaces for quiet work and a different space for video conferences. If you are using a bedroom, make sure the closet doors are closed and that you made your bed, make the working area an enjoyable, clean, orderly place. Little kids should respect the silence needed for the important meeting video or conference call.  Make and extra effort to keep the noise down; don’t turn on the vacuum cleaner or the mixer, or the TV too loud while they all work.

If you do not have outside work obligations, you might want to use this time to learn something new, take an interesting online class, listen to an interesting podcast... my favorite is Jordan B. Peterson.

We are all in this together! It will all pass soon! Be patient and remember that the world needs us to be cheerful and healthy in these challenging times! Good luck!

Freedom

It’s being a while since we last wrote… many things have happened.

Our children have grown, some of them have graduated from college and all of them are now working in one way or the other.

Our home is a more adult world, our youngest is 13 years old and our oldest is now 24. Serious life conversations at our dinner table, work challenges, work related international trips, more responsibilities. Our home is more orderly, our last toys have being donated, trophies are now in a box inside the storage room, clear rooms, many quiet hours.

Life has become difficult, adult world is harsh, international conflicts, conversations about socialism vs capitalism, they challenge our opinions, interesting conversations about the existence of God, international leaders and their ideas.

Now our children are more on their own, living in different countries and only one thing worries me: after all these years of parenting, teaching them virtues, order, obedience, sincerity, loyalty, responsibility, truthfulness; where I have no control at ALL is the correct use of their freedom.

If I look back it was always there, it has always been there, and is the one most important thing God gave us when he created us: our freedom. 

How are you educating your children to have a good use of their freedom? The only way is teaching them to always search for the truth… at a younger age it was about teaching the difference between right from wrong … then getting them to know God, then keeping a relationship with God, but then it comes a time when you may make them sit in the Chapel for an hour but if they don’t want to talk to God they wouldn’t do it… and I think, God would never want to have someone talking to him because someone said so.

Focus on teaching our children the correct use of their freedom at all times, so over the years they may search for the Truth in a good use of their freedom and pray and hope they will have their personal encounter with God.

Respect

In a world where insults and evident acts of disrespect are strewn all over most news media and virtually in all social media, teaching our children about respect is urgently necessary.

- Respect is the most important virtue that our children should embrace. 

- It must be engrained in them that in order to be respected, they have to respect others. 
- Respect must be shown always, in all environments, virtual and in person.
- Show respect in order to earn respect.

"Children want to see their imperfect, dysfunctional parents dance in the kitchen..."

"Children want to see their imperfect, dysfunctional parents dance in the kitchen, say "I love you" when they get off the phone, pray together, kiss as they say goodbye and speak highly of each other. Those moments of affection provide assurance to our kids – the world isn't all bad. Things are going to be OK at home."

From a great article you can enjoy by clicking here.

World's Toughest Job - Happy Mother's Day!

Check out this great interview for the world's toughest job...

Happy Mother's Day!

On Dating: Helping Our Children Find Mr. or Ms. Right - Part 5

[This is the fifth and final installment in a series of posts based on ideas, thoughts and inspirations we have read and collected on dating and that we have been trying to transmit to our teenagers and young adults since their pre-teen years]

The other's family will be your family...

It is very important to truly know his/her family, feel comfortable, loved and welcomed in his/her house, around his/her extended family, living and sharing their culture, food and traditions. You can get a good picture of how they are in a few weeks, you don't need years to find out that you are, or are not, meant to be for each other the rest of your lives.

Follow the right steps...

First meet the person, then talk about your and his/her life, show interest on the things he/she does, build a friendship, then create trust, understanding, sympathy. You then have a true relationship that allows you to share some more of your personal, intimate thoughts. After a prudent time, you commit and get engaged and then you seal that relationship for a lifetime with marriage, to love and serve him/her all of the days of your life. You share intimacy and have children, so they can be born on a place prepared to receive them, inside a family ready to take care of them.

Boys, be gentlemen...

Treat women with care, with respect. Don't send her by herself on an Uber or Lyft after a party for God's sake! Open the doors for her, bring her chocolates, flowers, surprise her.  Have good manners when eating and talking. Take good care of yourself, exercise, shower, perfume, deodorant - always! Admire your couple and never stop growing and learning as a person, feed your soul and pay attention to your spiritual growth. You should feel that she represents you, that the world stops when she arrives.

Girls, be ladies...

Demand respect and give respect, dress appropriately, laugh, be smart, take care of you appearance. Emphasize relationships based on the depth of a conversation, not only on the shallow base of the senses. Be elegant, move slowly, give the boys their place, admire your couple, be professional, keep growing and learning as a person, feed your soul and pay attention to your spiritual growth. You should feel that he represents you, that the world stops when he arrives.

Finally...

Life is short, so don't sell yourself cheap, aim high; you deserve the best and you are able to give the best and live a peaceful, joyful life, based on trust and respect.

On Dating: Helping Our Children Find Mr. or Ms. Right - Part 4: Warning Signs too.

[This is the fourth installment in a series of posts based on great ideas, thoughts and inspirations we have read and collected on dating and that we have been trying to transmit to our teenagers and young adults since their pre-teen years]

In a previous entry, we had mentioned addictions, disrespectful behavior, lack of commitment and indecision and the controlling type, as warning signs. 

The following are other warning signs to be on the lookout for.  To be dosed out repeatedly, with prudence, and age appropriately:

The impulsive type, unable to have self-control in actions and reactions. He or she is with you in public and is not focused on you but on others; lacks commitment; is simply not capable to be in love and faithful to one single person. He or she is not interested in having a plan for life together, having goals together, grow together; not interested in your improvements during life. 

The one that lacks a relationship with God. He or she has to share your believes and traditions. He or she should be open to accompanying you in your believes and should not be an obstacle in your spiritual growth. He or she should help you be a better person, faithful to your religion; should be able to align forces in order to raise a coherent family. He or she should have visible virtues like generosity, order, responsibility, prudence, justice, faithfulness, temperance, fortitude.  "If you see your boyfriend making jokes about church members or traditions or if he or she mocks or disrespects your believes, sacred places or persons, these are all warning signs. You need to be able to pray by your husband's or wife's side in case of an illness, tragedy or moments of great joy."

The unfaithful.  He or she "loves you in his or her own way", is not ready to commit,  is unable to make sacrifices, is unable to let go of others and be exclusive. Likes you, has a good time with you, shares lots of stories with you, spends a great time with you, but is not ready to move forward. If he or she is unfaithful while being your boyfriend or girlfriend, it is more than likely, almost guaranteed, that they will be unfaithful during marriage. 

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Others in this series: 

Part 1

Part 2
Part 3

Simon Sinek on Millennials in the Workplace

4th Grade is Over - Don't Panic, Make the Best of This Time!

Our fifth child, our youngest, is reaching the end of  the most beautiful school year: 4th grade -  where everything is magic, where they see their teachers and parents as super powerful and super heroes, where they feel the absolute security that everything around them is under control, that there is no need to be afraid, no need for money, no secrets kept, pure and absolute innocence and truthfulness. 

Fifth grade will be full of physical and hormonal changes, full of challenges, transitions. Girls will begin to be mean to each other, they will start with their little clicks, their friends will start hiding things, testing their power, feelings will be hurt, they will start to show inclination to like some kids more than others. 

To all our friends and readers with kids finishing 4th grade these days:

Enjoy time together, enjoy playing together, enjoy this last summer of pure innocence and joy,  of being a kid at its full potential and welcome the next stage in their lives.

Keep feeding them the healthiest foods and instilling the best habits, big ideas, hope, positive thoughts and an optimistic way of seeing life.  Keep guiding them on what is right and what is wrong,  let them help you when you cook or do chores, let them participate in all you do, make sure you know they know they are very important members in your family. 

Good luck!

On Dating: Helping Our Children Find Mr. or Ms. Right - Part 3: Warning Signs!

[This is the third installment in a series of posts based on great ideas, thoughts and inspirations we have read and collected on dating and that we have been trying to transmit to our teenagers and young adults since their pre-teen years]

Recently, I went to a fantastic talk about dating and marriage, given by my friend Pilar L.

These are some of the warning signs that they (and us!) have to be on the lookout for and what we should tell our kids in each case:

She made a great case about educating our children on the warning signs that they have to be on the lookout for when they are dating. These warning signs are caused by underlying issues that our sons or daughters are not equipped or be able to fix or resolve;  issues that will most likely require professional assistance. 

- Addictions. Any type of addiction like gambling, drinking, drugs, pornography; they are illnesses and require professional help.  A 17 or 21 or 26 year old  simply cannot not pull out another 17, 21 or 26 year old from an addiction. It is not his or her job to do it!

"The best that you can do is to end the relationship right away, no matter how painful it is. It is a fact that your boyfriend's or girlfriend's addiction will always come first, before them, their interest, and is not because that person doesn't love them, it is because he or she can't help it. Life is to short! Move on!"

- Disrespectful behavior. Bad language, bad words, bad behavior, propensity to get into fights, shows a pattern of disrespectful conduct that will most likely turn into worse behavior as life goes on. "You deserve a person that respects everybody and you in particular. If they don't respect others, they will most likely disrespect you."

- Lack of commitment and indecision.  A girl or guy that starts with low self esteem that is evident in their lack of commitment, can't choose, can't take responsibilities for their actions. "You need a committed, decisive person by your side, that will help you and help you steer of your life and that of your children, you have to have a clear common North, guiding your own life on the right path to achieving your goals."

- The problematic person. There are people that always seem to have problems around them. Problems at school, problems at home, problems at work. That person needs to find a center in his/her own life to be able to form a partnership with another person. It is his/her time to seek professional help, fix his or her problem and move on. It is not your son or daughter's responsibility to fix something that she/him lacks the knowledge and time to do. "Life is to short to be dealing with their problems and trying to build a relationship... move on!"

- The controlling type. You know, the one that limits your freedom up to the point that you can't breath. "They are very dangerous, because they start with little things and, little by little, get to the point where he/she has to tell you what to wear, where to go, who your friends are, everything. He/she pulls you away from your family and friends, because his or her insecurities. Run away from these people. You cannot live in fear, there is no need or time for that."

...more soon!

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Others in this series: 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

On Dating: Helping Our Children Find Mr. or Ms. Right - Part 2

[This is the second installment in a series of posts based on great ideas, thoughts and inspirations we have read and collected on dating and that we have been trying to transmit to our teenagers and young adults since their pre-teen years]

Another couple of short speeches to be dosed out and repeated with prudence, but insistently and age appropriately:

"God has chosen who will be the perfect match for you since the beginning of time. He or she already exists, there is a mom and a dad preparing him or her for you. You will start dating soon and you should aim to find the one,  that only one, the one chosen for you."

"There are a lot of great people that you have met and that you will meet: fun, smart, gentle and kind; everybody has something that maybe catches your attention. In all cases you should always ask: Is this one the right one for me?  There is only one that will be the best fit for you, that matches your style, your upbringing, your values, that makes you laugh, that gives you joy, that brings you peace. Pay attention and aim as high as you can. You deserve the best of the best, so don't settle!"

More later...

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Others in this series:

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

On Dating: Helping Our Children Find Mr. or Ms. Right - Part 1

Some of our children have gone through high school and are now in college, and for a few years now we have been hearing: "Mom, I have a boyfriend" or "Dad,  I have a girlfriend." 

The first time we heard these words, our world stopped. We started asking ourselves if our kids knew what they were getting into; how important this step was in their process to becoming great adults, parents, husbands and wives. Did we teach them well to choose the right partner in life; the one with whom they will have a great, fun adventure, for the rest of their lives?

This is the first in a series of posts of our short speeches, based on great ideas, thoughts and inspirations we have read and collected on dating, that we have been trying to transmit to our teenagers and young adults, since they were in their pre-teen years.

-  "Dating is the most important (long or short term) job interview of your life. It is a process that if done correctly,  will lead you to choosing the person with whom you will want to spend the rest of your life; a person that will be the perfect mother or father for your children."

- "Since dating will lead you to make the most important decision of your life, it cannot involve only your hormones. You really need to use your head, your heart, your instincts, and pay a lot of attention to the warning signs that will tell you  "this one might not be the Mr. or Ms. Right for me."

More on the next post... 

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Other in this series:

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Parenthood in One Picture

From Reddit: parenthood in one picture....

Social Emotional Learning = Character Building

It was my turn to give a small talk yesterday to a group of moms about teaching virtues to our children. To prepare, I went back to my notes on a talk on virtues that I heard at our kids' school a couple of years ago, where a non Christian speaker who gave the talk, mentioned how much easier it was to teach Social and Emotional Learning in Christian schools than in any other school, because these schools made an emphasis on teaching virtues.  

"Social and Emotional Learning", she said,"... is the process through which children and adults acquire the knowledge, attitudes and skills they need to recognize and manage their emotions, demonstrate caring and concern for others, establish positive relationships, make responsible decisions, and handle challenging situations constructively"

I call that: character building.

The virtues needed to build character are: friendship, teamwork, honesty, responsibility, problem solving, respect, kindness, fairness, self-control and compassion. 

The speaker at our school went on to mention that teaching and reenforcing these virtues to school children have had the following positive effects in the short term:

• Improved class attendance

• Positive attitude towards learning

• Less children expelled from school

• Up to 14 percentile point improvement on standardized tests

• 11% higher GPAs

• Improved team work and participation

• Better concentration, among many others.

All these empirical and anecdotical results make perfect sense; they show that if you practice raising kids focusing your teaching objectives towards improving good habits and virtues, our children will have a solid foundation to live cheerful, successful lives and help others while doing it.

This is a daily effort and a life-long undertaking. Let's keep on doing it! Good luck!

Living the Virtue of Poverty

We just finished packing and sending 130 backpacks that we have collected as donations for poor school children in Venezuela. They are part of an ongoing project (Instagram: #donatubultoytulonchera) to provide young poor children with school supplies. It is great to see the many generous people in South Florida that have helped.

Living the virtue of Poverty has nothing to do with living in poverty. It means using everything we own with care, not throwing away things that are no longer trendy or are just old. It means sewing buttons on shirts, repairing shoes, instead of throwing them in the trash.

Coming from South America, where many things tend to be scarce, perhaps practicing this virtue is easier than in the US:  the land of abundance, where it is so easy to buy new stuff that we may or may not need.  It is no wonder that the US is the most generous country in the world in absolute terms when it comes to donations, but we can do much better. We can teach our children (and remind them constantly) to take care and repair what they own, making sure that they don't throw away what they can donate to the most needy.